Sunday, January 20, 2013

That moment when

There's a moment when you realize that everyone you every looked up to was never as perfect as you thought. I get that crashing feeling when I see my father stagger in drunk, when he tells me with slurred speech to not tell Mom. "Yeah, sure, Dad."
"That's a good boy, Kieran." He stumbles into their bedroom. He doesn't say that this will be the last time because it won't. To clear my mind, I head out to the lower section. Gently knocking on Trevor's door, happiness burst open in my stomach. Trevor flings a vase at me, and without much thought I duck and keep walking into the house. He does that when he's in a bad mood. It's aright. Before he can fling something more deadly at me, I grab both of his wrists and hold them above his head. Using the full weight of my body, I pin him to the wall, attacking his neck with rough kisses. He hisses before switching our positions. "You're doing it wrong." He mutters against my skin. I know he'll leave deep red marks.
"Trevor, this isn't what I'm here for." A smile creeps onto his face as he stands back up. The look in his eyes says he doesn't believe me. It's just one of those days.
"Everyone who comes through that door comes through it for sex. Maybe not the first, second, third, or fourth time but eventually. Even Damian." Anger explodes inside of me.
"I'm different. I don't want to buy your body." Gently resting my forehead on his, I whisper, "I want you to happily hand it over to me."

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Denying oneself of Love

The way Kieran looks at Trevor makes me want to vomit. He's nothing but someone's sex slave, a whore. Kieran is so much more. He's expensive, upper class. Kieran acts as though he would fight through hell itself to get to Trevor. Kieran and Trevor are complete opposites, but the love neither of them will admit to makes me so sick to my stomach. So I beg Daddy to try and break Trevor harder. Nothing seems to matter. Trevor has that fighting spark in his eye, as though he doesn't know his place. The way Kieran just laughed at something stupid Trevor just said makes the very pit of my stomach burn.
Kieran smiles at me and mouths "Love...crazy isn't it?" just as Kit slides into my vision. My heart jumps into my throat, racing like a rabbit's. Kit and I have had sex a few times, not that I would admit that to anyone. Someone of my class should be pure of those polluting lower class brats and virgins when we wed. However, something about the way that Kit moves his body, even just on a day to day basis, draws me to him in a way that I cannot imagine possible. Even if I think it's impossible, it happens. I find myself walking towards him even though he doesn't seem to have seen me yet. I make my presence known by him, and it doesn't matter if anyone else notices me. I chatter about nothing and Kit actually pays attention. I tell him about how Daddy is opening up a new club. He winces a little, knowing it's people of his status who will be strippers there against there will, but he still says, "Maybe you can get me into the VIP section for free," with a little laugh. Kit and I quit talking, and the moment I've dreaded for as long as I've known Kit happens. We simply stare into each others eyes, just feeling. It only lasts for a second, but it feels like forever. I continue babbling.

Hey. These Characters have danced around in my mind for a little bit. About a couple of weeks. I've kinda been writing from all of their view points, finding out who I like, how they all think. Kieran usually goes by his middle name Ashton because he feels as though it's more of a "commoner name" than Kieran. The setting I've mentally set for this is like in the future and some war has completely changed how America runs itself. Like slavery is still technically illegal, but there are so many loopholes now that the law basically doesn't exist. There's also basically a hierarchy. There's the upper class which has an obscene amount of power and/or money. A lot is expected of the children. They have to physically look a certain way, and mental problems are ignored Then there's the middle class and they're ok. Like, they're not living in the streets, starving dirt poor, but some of them struggle to get by and fit what society wants of them. Then the lower class. They are treated like slaves by the upper class. Uhm....failed scientific experiments are just released or disposed of in the lower class section. Many of them are in "contracts" with someone who is upper which basically means they sell their body to whoever the upper says for however much the upper says.